671 Montauk Highway
New York 11705



Long Island Architects, Oyster Bay Drafting

Divorce Mediation
Because you’re still a family

The Sane Alternative to Contentious Litigation

Attorney Gene D. Barr

Attorney Gene Barr

I came to being an attorney late in life. I was a commercial contractor for 35 years and at age 38 had no formal education. After suffering several knee and shoulder surgeries I was told to find another occupation or suffer the consequences later in life; taking that warning seriously, I attended night school for 12 years while working full time. During those 12 years I earned my Associates Degree (1989), Bachelors Degree (1991), Juris Doctorate (1996), Masters in Education (1998), and Masters in Business Administration in 2000. I was admitted to the New York State Bar on November 17, 1999, at which time I began building my practice. Three years later I sold my construction business and took to law full time.

In 2006 I was elected the first Co-Chair of the newly formed Suffolk County Bar Association’s Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee. On June 1st, 2007, I received the Suffolk County Bar Association’s “DIRECTOR’S AWARD” in recognition of contributions to the ADR Committee and for dedication and long standing commitment toward furthering the ideals of the legal profession.

The unique qualities I bring to my practice are a result of 35 years of negotiating business deals and managing a diverse and often complex labor force. I accept that I cannot help you heal your marriage; that I do not have the education, nor professional experience to help you reconcile it. What I can do is assist you in negotiating a comprehensive and fair settlement, in a respectful manner, that provides your family the greatest opportunity to move forward through the difficulties of divorce to the healing process.

Because choosing the right mediator is an important decision I believe that you should have a better understanding of who I am and what I believe in. The principles of my life and practice are simple:

Finally, I would like to share with you two poems that have philosophically defined my life. The first is by William Henley given to me by my mother in darker times. The second is by Bertrand Russell and speaks for itself.


OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning’s of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley. 1849–1903


Three passions have governed my life:
The longings for love, the search for knowledge,
And unbearable pity for the suffering of humankind.
Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness.
In the union of love I have seen
In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision
Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of people.
I have wished to know why the stars shine.
Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,
But always pity brought me back to earth;
Cries of pain reverberated in my heart
Of children in famine, of victims tortured
And of old people left helpless.
I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot,
And I too suffer.
This has been my life; I found it worth living.

671 Montauk Highway
Bayport, NY 11705

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