671 Montauk Highway
New York 11705



Long Island Architects, Oyster Bay Drafting

Divorce Mediation
Because you’re still a family

The Sane Alternative to Contentious Litigation


1: No. Neither mediation, nor litigation is right for every case. Mediation requires a willingness to reason, consideration of the other person’s position (though not necessarily agreement with that position), mutual respect and an understanding that although the couple is parting as husband and wife, they remain mother and father to their children. Fixed or unequal bargaining positions, an unwillingness to negotiate or allegations of child or spousal abuse typically require litigation and eliminate mediation as a means to resolving differences. - Back To Questions →

2: No. It is not the Divorce Mediator’s role to assist a couple in reconciling their marriage. Rather, it is the Mediator’s role to guide the participants through the difficult process of divorce to a global settlement resolving all outstanding issues. In fact, once the participants have made the decision to move forward with divorce the Mediator should respect that decision and focus his or her efforts towards peacefully and respectfully resolving their issues. - Back To Questions →

3: It is well documented that divorce by litigation places a heavy toll upon the family; that divorce by litigation serves to further fracture an already fractured relationship making it more difficult, if not impossible, for the parents to relate to each other as parents and to participate in future family events, functions and gatherings. Although divorcing and separating as husband and wife, Mediation maximizes communication between mom and dad, minimizing their roles as angry adversaries, so they can continue to meaningfully participate as parents. - Back To Questions →

4: No. Frequently there are very contentious and complex issues resolved through Mediation: issues of custody, visitation, child support, division of assets, assignment of debts, sale of homes and properties, appraisals of businesses and educational degrees, spousal maintenance (alimony), distribution of pensions, continuation or termination of health, life and other insurances, and determination of pre and non-marital assets are all resolved through the mediation process. - Back To Questions →

5: Resolution by Mediation is similar to resolution by litigation in that the participants’ agreement will be “memorialized” in writing; that writing is a contract called a Stipulation of Settlement or Separation Agreement that, when signed, is a binding, durable, and enforceable contract recognized by New York State. - Back To Questions →

6: That depends entirely on you, your issues, dedication to the process, complexity of the marital estate, and resolution of the future living arrangements of the family. Typically, depending on the particular circumstances of your situation, mediation takes several sessions. In most cases the participants have come to agreement and signed the contract within 6 to 8 weeks. When considering how long the Mediation process takes you should understand that it is remarkably quicker and always less expensive than litigation. - Back To Questions →

7: Divorce settlement agreements have a real-time effect on your life. Most agreements will address issues of custody, visitation, child support, division of assets, assignment of debts, sale of homes and properties, appraisals of businesses and educational degrees, spousal maintenance (alimony), distribution of pensions, continuation or termination of health, life and other insurances, and determination of pre and non-marital assets. Signing a divorce settlement agreement will determine your legal relationship with your children, your obligation for support, what happens to your home, your assets, your vehicles and much more. Because divorce law is complex and involves important rights it is prudent and wise to have your agreement reviewed by a competent attorney familiar with New York State’s Domestic Relations Law and Child Support Standards Act to ensure that you understand what you have agreed to, what the legal consequences of the agreement are, and more importantly, to ensure that your best interests have been served. - Back To Questions →

8: No. Mediated divorces are by their very nature uncontested. Uncontested divorces are attained by resolving outstanding issues in a writing (Stipulation of Settlement or Separation Agreement) and submitting the New York State Divorce Submission Packet to the Supreme Court of the State of New York. My office will draft all relevant documents and submit them to the Court. Upon Court review a Judge will sign the Judgment of Divorce and have it recorded in the County Clerk’s office. The County Clerk’s office will then forward a fully executed Judgment of Divorce to the parties. - Back To Questions →

9: Once you have chosen to move forward with divorce you need to begin to make decisions that will have a significant and long term impact on the future of your family. Those decisions should be informed decisions. Making informed decisions requires a basic understanding of what your duty and obligations are under the relevant laws.

For most people that is an overwhelmingly daunting task. Understanding the importance of information and the need to understand your duties and obligations when divorcing I offer a free 2 hour consultation that will discuss the difference between mediation and litigation, the necessary steps that must be taken to get the divorce, and your duties and obligations under the Domestic Relations Law and Child Support Standards Act.

You need not bring anything with you to the consult. It is my policy that after a mediation consult that the participants go home and decide whether mediation or litigation is best suited to their needs. Once you’ve decided that Mediation may be right for you, you then need to decide whether I’m the right mediator to mediate your divorce. If you then chose to mediate with me simply call to make an appointment and we will begin the process. - Back To Questions →

10: As is true of most things in life – there is good and bad in each group whatever that group may be. In New York State there are probably more highly skilled non-attorney mediators than attorney mediators. The advantage of using an attorney-mediator is that the attorney-mediator has the ability, as a neutral scribe, to draft all relevant documents, where a non-attorney mediator cannot. When you mediate with a non-attorney mediator you must bring your tentative agreement to attorneys to have them draft the agreement in legal form. In effect, the process becomes more cumbersome and costly, negating the benefits of mediation's cost effectiveness. - Back To Questions →

671 Montauk Highway
Bayport, NY 11705

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Phone: 631.654.5050